The Thorn in My Side

Today Trey, my husband of a little less than a month, left for a month of Army training. To say I am hurting is an understatement. All semester and summer so far, I have convinced myself that this month will fly. That it won't be that bad because it's not a deployment. It's just training. Training that is used to assess my husbands skills and decide what job he will get when he commissions in less than a year. Training that decides where we will be living, and what kind of Army life we will have. I thought I had the easy part. He has the hard part. He has to perform. Sadly, my expectations were way less than they should have been. Maybe that's a blessing, maybe it's not. I have been praying for weeks upon weeks for this time to be used for God's glory for both Trey and I, and I have complete faith that God will do just that. What I didn't expect was the actual pain I feel being away from my new husband. This morning was the first time that I felt the weight of the fact that we are "one flesh" now. Leaving him at the airport with tears streaming down my face, was the hardest thing I've had to do thus far in my adult life. While I know this is only a month, and the Army will take him away for longer than a month at times. My entire being hurts being away from my other half. I had no idea that becoming one flesh could bond you so extremely close to someone. While I was driving back to Statesboro, I listened to a John Piper sermon. It centered on Mark 10:1-12. In this passage, Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees about the issue of divorce. It is considered adultery, and this is where the famous verse 9 comes in: "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." This verse is seen in many Christians households and in multiple weddings. It's beautiful and shows how marriage is made by God, and what God makes, humans cannot and shouldn't try and destroy. God is completely sovereign in all circumstances. While divorce is not anywhere near my realm of thinking, something else from this sermon really hit home for me. Piper repeatedly talked about what the meaning of marriage was. "The ultimate meaning of marriage is the representation of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church." This simple statement is something that both Trey and I have prayed that our marriage would be. We want our marriage to represent the love of Christ for his Bride, the church. Maybe that's why this hurts so bad. As Trey said, "This could be considered a thorn in our side." Being away causes pain, but that pain is sanctifying. It brings us to Christ time and time again for help. Christ is sufficient in all circumstances, even those that hurt. So for now, I'll take this thorn. Being away from my husband hurts so bad, but I know that God is sovereign in all things, and he will use this time for his Glory. It might not be easy for either of us, but I can be thankful that I have a relationship with Christ. That he puts me through trials to grow my faith, and that he's given me the gift of marriage with someone who makes saying goodbye so very hard. Trey is the greatest blessing I've ever received in my Earthly life, and he's from the Lord. Trey was designed specifically for me by God and that has been made so clear as we've been married. He makes me better, less anxious, and more in love with the Lord. I'm so thankful for these things, and that God thought of me when he created and grew Trey into who he is today. I miss him so much, but I know that through this month, Christ's name will be made known, and he will guide me and help us both through it, even when it hurts. He's still sufficient.